Оригинал статьиПеревод:We have forgotten to talk about menYou’re allowed to be a boy and wear pink clothes. You’re allowed to dislike sports. You’re allowed to cry.
In this post, I want to separate the biological and cultural gender, I address the problem of the term Americans call gender, not the biological gender (sex).
читать дальшеEquality politically, economically and socially has highlighted women’s liberation. In spite of important progress towards equality, it’s time to focus attention on how gender roles suppress and limit all people. The women’s struggle has focused on fighting for the possibility that women can be several things: sexually liberated, politically active, career women, housewives, feminine and masculine. We have required our place and fought against prejudice and oppression for years. We’re still fighting. The women’s liberation is still being put out as a movement that’s seeking to take the power and privileges from men. As if only one gender can have freedom and power at a time. But we’re free together or trapped together.
Historically, men have been assigned their place and their privileges. As a man in society, you will be given economic and political benefits based on what you have between your legs. A man is expected to be aggressive, a leader, determined. He must be masculine, strong and demand his respect.
A man’s role implies expectations of behavior and characteristics, and there is little room for deviations.
Homosexual men have redefined and at times undermined conventional masculinity. I’m a big supporter of people taking place in public and giving a face and name to divergence.
Strong role models that are sure of their own expression and identity are important for people to see themselves in similar roles and positions. Good role models are those who inspire and challenge.
As an example of a good role model that challenge gender norms, I want to lift the artist Kristoffer Cezinando. Vulnerable, imaginative, committed, sensitive and inquiring. He challenges our idea of what a man what should be, and not the least what a male role model should be like. Furthermore, we have people fighting for trans rights, like Christine Jentoft, the Dragartist group Great Garlic Girls, Luca Dalen Espeseth, Emma Ellingsen, Noah Lindaas, Swedish Freja Lindberg and a bunch of other important names who’s standing in front row, claiming their space and voice. Let’s give it to them. We must start listening.
You’re allowed to be a boy and wear pink clothes. You’re allowed to dislike sports. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to be small and thin. You’re allowed to bake. You’re allowed to like cats. You’re allowed to be damn confused by a toolbox. You’re allowed to wear makeup. You’re allowed to be loving. You’re allowed to avoid a fight. You’re allowed to express your feelings. You’re allowed to like Barbie.
And you know what? Girls are allowed to take space, they’re allowed to throw far and hard, they’re allowed to take place in the Army, they’re allowed to play football, they’re allowed to be angry.
It may sound primitive and unnecessary to mention it, but it’s been a year since the England Football Association, in the document “Considerations for increasing participation in women and girls’ football”, suggested that girls should be encouraged to play football by wearing colourful outfits that smelled good, more breaks during training so the girls had time to be on social media and listen to music, or offer rewards like stickers and other prizes to meet up on training, I know myself that I would’ve kept investing in sports if the coaches and sports clubs had taken my dedication and talent seriously.
We challenge gender stereotypes all the time, not without struggle, but we need to continue consciously. We need to find a new way of socializing children. Instead of encouraging emotional strength and competitive masculinity for boys, or caring qualities and superficial values for girls, we must meet their needs and their nature so that they can develop as full-fledged people.
We hand out roles for children, who have limited tools to understand and, not the least, fight against expected gender differences. Traditional stereotyping of gender on TV and in design and marketing of toys, doesn’t only affect girls.
In the book “Menn forklarer meg ting” (Men explains things to me), Rebecca Solnit writes, “What’s wrong with the male gender? There is something about how masculinity is presented, about what’s being celebrated and encouraged, and how the expectations are passed on to young boys that need to be addressed. We must design new thoughts and ideals about masculinity and power.”
We’ve forgotten to talk about men. Gender roles were not created to suit people but society. Gender roles doesn’t care about people’s wishes or primary needs.
We’re all trapped in a constructed idea of what it means to be man and woman. We managed to redefine what it means to be a woman, is it time we do the same with men? Is it time to give room for those who doesn’t identify with A or B?
It’s not up to me to demand that anyone gives up their own truth.
It’s not without reason that people want to categorize and put each other under labels. It’s them and us. It’s similarities and differences. It’s known and unknown. I just want to remind you that the unknown is not dangerous. I want to encourage you to give difference more space. To listen. After all, it’s only people who want to be seen and recognized for who they are.
Doesn’t everyone want that?
©